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Cincinnati Union Bethel July 24, 2003
Mr. William J. McGrane III Dear Bill, Thank you for the opportunity to write regarding the extraordinary value of the principles and key learning’s from the McGrane Self-Esteem Center and the McGrane Institute. As you know, I recently completed the programs “Making It Happen” and “Managing The Human Machine”. They are truly life-changing, and I would recommend this important work to others without qualification! From my seat as CEO of the oldest social service agency west of the Alleghenies, I can testify to the value these teachings could have upon the population of our clients. Our agency’s work is supporting, serving and educating persons much in need and without resources to obtain the fulfillment of those needs. I can assure you that many of the barriers these terrific people face stem from damage and wounds affecting their self-esteem. In other cases, they have simply never been offered constructive or life-changing tools. They are not blameworthy. Rather, their teachers and caregivers themselves simply did not have the tools to bestow. The knowledge and application of the insights you offer truly have the ability to stop, and yes even reverse, such painful cycles of hopelessness. From a personal perspective, allow me to simply say “Thank You”. After my experience in the workshops, I feel back on course and guided by principles I can return to for a lifetime to renew and continue personal growth. My communication has already shown improvement. I can see it in the faces of my family and co-workers. Most importantly, I have firmly in place the reminder that knowledge and action will produce outcomes I want, and ones which will keep my life on purpose. I can assure you that this step in taking care of me will be the first of many upon my path to living a full and complete life. Peace,
Stephen T. MacConnell
VITAS HEALTHCARE CORPORATION OF OHIO January 14, 2005 To Whom It May Concern: My name is Ken Czillinger. My current position is Bereavement Manager for VITAS Hospice in Cincinnati, Ohio. I have been ministering to the sick, the dying and the grieving for 33 years. In 1978, 1 helped found Parents of Murdered Children (POMC). The national office of POMC, located in Cincinnati, Ohio, now receives over 1,000 murder related contacts each week. We live in an increasingly violent and hurtful world. More and more people are seeking a way to peace, healing and forgiveness within themselves, in their relationships and among families, cultures and nations. In order to give peace a chance, women and men, adolescents and children need to receive the knowledge, insights and skills for developing healthy self esteem and for creating loving acceptance of others. The McGrane Self Esteem Center provides a unique safe haven for individuals to accept themselves totally and unconditionally. Ten years ago, at a time of significant transition in my own life, I participated in the "Making It Happen" and "Managing the Human Machine" programs. I will always be grateful for the many tools and insights I learned during those five days. The one year of coaching gave me the needed support and direction to really move forward. I am a member of the Board of Trustees and an advisor to the McGrane Self Esteem Center. I urge your wholehearted support for the Center. It is an essential source for hope and potential in our world. What is one universal element that will increase peace and reduce violence across the globe? My answer is a plentiful supply of self esteem within each person, especially among the most abused, hurt and troubled. Sincerely,
Kenneth J. Czillinger KJC/jpc
Raymond D. Gage, Psy. D. LLP
2020 South Double Circle Drive January 21, 2003
Mr. William J. McGrane III Dear Bill: Thank you for the opportunity given me to affirm the benefits of the programs provided by the McGrane Self-Esteem Center. As you know, I have attended several of the assorted programs offered by the Center in the past, and I would recommend them to others as well. From a professional Psychologists standpoint, I am especially interested in the basic programs you provide that focus on the fundamental tenants of self-esteem: its construction, development, and behavioral manifestations. The two-day program provides a valuable opportunity for all of the participants to delve into personal reflection and experiential learning activities that can produce constructive, life-changing effects. The group affect allows for a social element of development to occur within the social microcosm. Every individual develops within the context of a social environment, and it is necessary to the integration of an individual’s personal insight to involve the application of the insight in the environment. My experience has been that the social environment of the groups attending your programs has been a fertile source for enriched insight and application of these insights. From a personal standpoint, I recommend your programs as another perspective for others to consider as significant to themselves. There are effective religious practices available, in all their assorted varieties, in which people willingly choose to participate. Supplemental to these, there also exist a variety of perspectives and philosophies that serve to enhance the quality of life these religious practices endorse. The message of love by way of acceptance speaks directly to those of us who “throw stones” at others while attempting to avoid the freedom and responsibility given to us at birth. Life is the longest journey we make, and we often require specialized nourishment. Your programs provide some of the valuable nutrients needed along the way. I wish you success in your journey, and attest to your contribution. I thank you for your workmanship. Love always, Raymond D. Gage, Psy. D. LLP
glide January 21, 2003
Mr. William J. McGrane III To Whom It May Concern: I personally experienced the 5 day program called Making It Happen and Managing the Human Machine. It was a most valuable experience which provided me deep insights into myself as a man, minister, husband and father, as well as new skills which I've begun to put into practice in my life with great results, so far. I highly recommend the McGrane Self Esteem Center's programs to individuals, couples, families and organizations, both for profit and non profit. You, your families and/or your organizations will discover insights into yourselves, each other and the how to's for greater communication, congruence and integrity towards you life's mission. Plus new ideas about how you or you organization can give your gifts to contribute to the so much needed healing, bringing "wholeness and prosperity to a troubled world", the mission and purpose of the McGrane Self Esteem Center. If you feel moved to participate, refer or contribute to their cause, I applaud you. God bless you, Peace, Shalom and Salaam, Pastor Douglass Fitch. Sr. Pastor
301 Largo Rd. February 2, 2004 To Whom It May Concern: As a Career Counselor at Prince George's Community College, I believe students of all ages would benefit from the Self Esteem courses given by Bill McGrane and Barbara Moir. Bill who I have known for seven years has the skill, interest and ability to encourage people who are having a hard time in life. He is skilled in his ability to connect with people on a deep level and stay connected. He has a proven track record. Barbara who I have known for four years is an advocate for people in difficult situations. She is able to coordinate resources to help these people. She is also an excellent role model and teacher. I personally took Making It Happen and Managing the Human Machine in 1997. The awareness I gained and the ability to make changes in my life was fabulous. I regularly use the tools I learned in the program. My life has been more manageable and much more enjoyable ever since taking the first course. I highly recommend both Bill and Barbara as talented teachers of the Self Esteem courses. Sincerely,
Carmetta Bouchard, NCC
glide March 1, 2004
Bill McGrane
Executive/Education Director Dear Barbara and Bill, What a marvelous experience "Making It Happen" was for me. I continue to think about the ideas that were shared and generated for myself each and every day. I read my affirmations several times daily and share them often with friends, especially those that seem to be stuck or down on themselves. I can feel the difference with each day that passes. I am building a list of friends, whom I know could benefit from the experience. I wanted to share with you an experience I had today at our weekly staff meeting. I supervise Administrative/Medical Assistants in our free health clinic here in San Francisco and they comprise the Clinical Support Unit. I meet with this group each week to address problems, concerns, questions, etc. Today well over half of our meeting was spent addressing issues with staff around taking care of themselves in relationship to their co workers. I could hear your words and the energy that you shared come to me as I spent time with them addressing their important concerns. I was definitely out of my comfort zone, but it was o.k. because I had strong convictions about the message that I was sharing. I made it a point to affirm each one of them taking enough time to make sure they had an experience of how important their feeling supported was to me. At one point one of them asked me for advice on what to do if by the end of the week they still felt the conflict. I answered her question with a question ask yourself if you are o.k. in your relationship with your co worker? If your answer is no, there is probably something to talk about. It made so much sense and I think she felt she had been heard. It is difficult to know what the future holds for any of us, but I am content to focus on the here and now and try to grow in whatever ways I can. I know that what I learned and continue to learn through the ideas I experienced through "Making It Happen" will continue to be a source of inspiration and challenge in my life. For now, let me just says thanks. I am grateful for your making the trip to San Francisco and for sharing your ideas and now your dream with us. I feel blessed to have been touched by you and your work. May it continue through you and those you touch for many years to come.
With warmest regards and T.U.A.,
Character Council of Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky June 3, 2003
Mr. Bill McGrane Dear Bill: Back in 1987, a graduate of the McGrane seminars and a friend of Mary’s recommended that she attend the Self-esteem program. Mary had recently been involved in an unhealthy relationship – she was attached to a man who could not commit and kept her at arms length. Despite the relationship’s flaws, she was unable to see that she had other choices and clung on. The early 1990’s brought more lousy choices in men and broken relationships to the extent that Mary gave up on finding a healthy, loving, committed relationship. She dated lots of men, didn’t expect much from them, and felt unfulfilled and frustrated. In the mid 1990’s, through the help of an insightful friend and personal growth work, Mary began to understand how her past choices were thwarting her life. New hope emerged and in 1998 she met Mike, a stable, mature man who was able to commit and worked hard at the relationship. In 2000, Mary and Mike married. The first two years of the marriage were rocky, as both Mike and Mary worked to merge their lives, and the lives of Mike’s three children. In 2002, Mary experienced the McGrane Institute five-day seminar. One immediate result was an improvement in the marriage. Before, I was holding back. Mike used to complain that I was not “in the trenches” with him in dealing with issues of his former wife and children. The week after the seminar, he saw an immediate change. I am working harder to support him and the kids and he has elevated his behavior in response to mine. We are working as a team and have never felt closer. I wish that in 1987, I would have been open enough to attend the seminar. It would have saved me years of heartache. I am grateful that in 2002, my friend, Bryan, gave me a second chance. In appreciation,
Mary Andres Russell 7-13-96 Dear Bill, This letter is to share with you tote life changes I have experienced through my life since going through the Self-Esteem and Move Into Your Greatness programs and how much I appreciate the positive impact you have both made in my life. It will be four years in September that I went through these programs and although I have packed my folder and tapes away in one of the closets of my house the ideas have stuck with me in the pages and tape of my mind. Four years ago I was a self centered, negative, drug and alcohol addicted, codependent 21 year old child, in a loveless and abusive relationship, who thought that it was her fault even when it rained. I have now blossomed into a 25 year old independent women who is living on her own with a bunch of plants, an aquarium full offish, and a cat named Vinny. I have been alcohol and drug free for 2 years and 4 months. I was currently licensed as a practical nurse (LPN) and will be continuing school in August to receive my RN license in another year. One other step I have taken with my education was I recently had all my transcripts sent to Ferris State University and have researched their BSN program and decided to sign up with them to start in the fall of 1997. I will be starting a new job at the hospital in the town I live, which I am extremely excited about and most of all I have been enjoying myself through this whole process. When I first went down to see you, in September of 1992, my life was a complete whirlwind. Let me share with you some of the changes that have placed me on solid grown. First of all, let me say none of this came to me over night, it has taken a lot of hard work and stuffing myself through those uncomfortable situations that I dislike so much, however I am still alive and sure enough like you two always knew, I have grown a lot from it. I left that loveless and abusive relationship and grieved it in a big way. That was three years ago and sense I have not gotten into another intimate relationship with a man. The reason behind this, I realized that I really didn't know what the hell I was doing because I had never had a relationship with my father. I was actually maid of men. I thought I had to do everything they said and more. I wanted so bad to just hang out, talk, and be a mend with a man without anything in return. No better place to start then with my father, someone I had hardly ever said two words to except, pass the salt. It wasn't until I was in rehab family therapy that I found out, by placing all my feelings out on the table the reason my dad didn't talk to us when we were kids. It wasn't because he didn't want us, it was because he was beat as a kid and that was the last thing he was going to do to his kids because he loved us so much, so his way of handling this was to not get to close. Never in a hundred years would I have guessed that and I would have never known if I would not had the courage to just tell him how I felt. To narrow down how things are going with my dad just last night while watching T.V. at his house we had a conversation about how much I liked the singer Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra and so does he, a man I thought I never had anything in common with and look, just by the art of asking questions, what I found out. This Sunday I will be going to the NASCAR race with my dad and my brother Dave. I have also built a wonderful relationship with my brother, Dave is one of my best mends. I have now decided to let fate take its course and I know someday, when the time is right, I will meet Mr. Right, however until then I refuse to settle, besides I'm having a great time being single and enjoying my own company. As for the relationship with my mother, were still working on that, however we have become better friends. Oh yea!! you guys are right - my mother and I are A LOT alike. Matter of fact she is on her way here right now to pick me up. We are going over night for a mother-daughter bonding experience. We also recently went on a shopping trip together one afternoon and spent lots of foolish money and laughed and laughed. I felt as though I was with a friend not my mother. I do realize that a mother's love is very special and no matter what I do or don't do she will always love me and be there for me. The last thing on what I have learned with relationships that I want to share with you just cafe to me not to long ago. The beginning of March my Grandma Miller died unexpectedly, in her own house. I have no regrets when it comes to her being gone and not being able to resolve any issues or even to let her know how much I loved her and appreciated her being in my life. She ALWAYS knew. I am not proud of the behavior I have displayed at different times in my life or how I have treated people at certain times, however, it finally came to me as I sat around in a room full of family talking about how all they hear is how much Grandma loved Teresa and it wasn't fair to the other grandchildren to hear this; it came to me that I have no reason to feel bad because I made a choice to spend time with her and love her and just BE present to her and her life as she lived it. I miss her so very much and I give myself permission to cry and miss her no matter where I am because I know that is all right. None of us know when our last day is or anyone else's, I believe that it is important to always treat everyone as though it may be the last time you see them, I guess in a round about way what I am trying to say is - I now try to tell my family I love them and I kiss and hug them when I leave because I never want them to go without knowing how much I appreciate everything they have done. This last sentence brings me to the reason I am writing this letter, is because both of you have treated me with such kindness and helped me so very much. I don't want it to go unknown how much I love you both and appreciate everything you have done for me. THANK YOU!!!!!
T.U.A. KP
KENNETH M. PETTY June 30, 1981 TOUCHING OTHER'S LIVES We've all heard stories or shared experiences about how one sentence, phase or word of encouragement has impacted an individual's life. Many of these people have gone on to major accomplishments or at least been able to lead happy lives. I would like to share a true story that involves some NSA members and relates to this principle. On March 20, 1980 a young man was attending a Positive Thinking Rally in downtown Cincinnati. As he sat there he began reflecting on his unhappy life. Thirty five years old - TWENTY EIGHT jobs! He was feeling hopelessness, frustration and despair. So desperate was he that he had made the decision to either find the "answer" or end it all. His career and his life. And so because of his critical situation, he thought, "Here are all of the Pros; surely they have an answer." With that thought in mind, he waited for the break. When it came, he approached one of the program speakers. As he relayed his problem, the speaker listened patiently and intently and then responded, "I can't help you. However, I can give you a man's name who can help you to help yourself." The fellow took action. He called the person he was referred to and subsequently attended the man's programs. There he learned it was just as the speaker had said. He found the "answer" from within. Life was a Do-It-Yourself project. Today that young man is alive and enjoying a new career. He is now a consultant, seminar leader and Professional Public Speaker. Oh! The speaker at the rally who touched his life? TV Boyd! The man with the programs? Bill McGrane: The young man? Yours truly, Ken Petty! SALES CONSULTANT . PUBLIC SPEAKING . SEMINARS November, 20, 2006
Mr. Bill McGrane Dear Bill: I have been doing drugs and selling for over 15 years. I have tried committing suicide. In fact I was so hard up I had ruined every vein I could shoot up and just weeks before your class shot up just 3 inches from my heart, I was that desperate. I was in so much pain, I was next to death. I spent over $500,000.00 in drugs and rehab programs. Your 5 day program gave me the release and the peace I have always been looking for. I wish I knew about this program 15 years ago. I would have been in a totally differently place. My eyes are now open. I can get things out and I now have the tools to look at myself and life in a totally different way. Your course was the safest place I have ever been in my life. I have the tools to live fully. Pack your bags and attend as soon as you can to get the joy and happiness you have always wanted. It's worth the time and the money. It was the best week of my life. I have peace I have never had before. I have the tools to live and be happy. Thank you so much for giving me the tools to save my life. Tom Reno Sonja Scott, a police/community activity coordinator from the California bay area, found that others are more comfortable with her as a result of the McGrane experience. “Prior to the program, I was unsure about my definition of love. Learning total unconditional acceptance was huge for me. My personal relationships are now closer and I’ve learned how asking questions and self-disclosure opens doors with others.” Michael Wickett, was abused as a child and until he became an adult did not realize how it had damaged his life. “Through the seminars, ideas and safe experiences, 15 years later I can now say my journey in life is freer and I now have profound peace within myself. The ideas are the center peace of my life. They have enabled me to overcome the pain and self criticism of a lifetime. I am experiencing total unconditional acceptance and am now a loving father and friend.” For Steve Saunders, a Sergeant with the Cincinnati Police Department, the program helped re-instill the importance of valuing what he has in life and recognizing who he really is as a person. “Bill helped me take more notice of the blessings in my life – my beautiful, healthy family and a support network that keeps me grounded. For this I am eternally grateful. Thank you for reminding me to see others for who they are and to strive to achieve total unconditional acceptance in my work as a professional law enforcement officer.” 15 years ago, Georgia Macon abruptly walked out on her husband. Through the course, she learned the tools to openly communicate with her former husband for the first time. The result, an awesome emotional healing for Janet, her former husband and two children. Gordon Humphrey, from Oakland, CA, found the seminar scary and encouraging all at the same time. “The scary part is that you cannot escape your own issues. What is encouraging is you can see your way out of the traps and holes that you have dug. The seminar left me no longer satisfied with the status quo – the way I had always operated. I have made changes and, one year later, am still in the process of making changes. It is truly an investment in building a quality life.”
An Intensive Group Intervention
By
Robert Erikson, Ph.D Introduction The McGrane Self-Esteem Center, Inc. is proposing an integrated psychological and whole person intervention program to support and assist victims and offenders. This program will materially strengthen the impact of current services and, ultimately, we believe, the long-term recovery, re-entry and success of your clients. Background In the service of maintaining social order and security, communities create structures to minimize, manage and control inter-personal acts of aggression and social harm. To this end, it is useful to identify actions by their roles, i.e.: offenders, victims and others. Offenders are typically seen as requiring punishment and restraint, while victims are seen as requiring some form of redress, compensation, and reparation. This dichotomy appears to be universally understood in principle, and may be seen as essential to the goal of stability of the civil milieu. For purposes of resolution and re-integration, however, the dichotomy is less useful and can, in fact, obscure the needs of each party, which is to overcome the posture of alienation resulting from the aggressive transaction. It is a fundamental hallmark of psychic trauma, or emotional injury, incurred in parallel process by offender and victim alike. When the community reacts to aggression by removing the offender from its midst, it serves local security needs while the alienation of the offender is untouched and, indeed likely, exacerbated. To be in a state of alienation is to live in a world dominated by aggressive energy, impoverished of positive bonds, and antagonistic to the qualities of life, which comprise emotional safety. Trust is suspended, openness is replaced by guardedness, and the mutuality of interest, which characterizes viable relationships, is replaced by isolated self-interest. The alienation which needs healing is three-fold: alienation from the self, characterized by unstable identity, lack of a sense of future, and self-loathing; alienation from others, characterized by distrust and isolation; and alienation from God, characterized by despair and loss of meaning. The poet, T. S. Elliot wrote: “We are meaning-seeking creatures. We fall into despair if our lives don’t have meaning”. The goal of recovery is to enable the individual to transcend the desolation of meaninglessness and trauma and enter (or re-enter) the world of joy, love, acceptance, attachment and hope. Statement of the problem Efforts to assist the traumatized person have sensibly focused on the requirements of adaptation – the provision of housing, vocational assistance and training to begin to create economic viability, enlivening the spirit through pastoral care and the forging of ties in the community through volunteer activities and service. These and other activities and services are valuable in themselves and essential for full recovery to occur, however each is also difficult if not impossible to achieve solely on one’s own internal motivation. Yet, the posture of alienation, which characterizes those who have separated themselves from the social milieu, predisposes them to attempt to “go it alone”, notwithstanding the assistance and support, which may be offered by others. Such individuals are able to interact sociably and to create the “appearance” of mutual understanding, while, in fact, maintaining an impermeable shell of emotional isolation. For comprehensive healing, then, the individual needs to have a way to concretely begin to encounter and bond with others, face-to-face, in a primary membership group, which discards the values of aggression in favor of the positive values of healthy self-acceptance, positive regard for others and openness to the spiritual essence of being. Failing the presence of such an identity group, the individual remains “on his own” in his heart, hence thwarting his needs to belong and receive support. When he encounters reverses or frustration, or disrespects or neglects in the community, he is at risk to retreat to his previous aggressive posture, relapse into drugs and/or alcohol, drop out of services, and may then even re-offend. The McGrane Self-Esteem Center Intervention The intensive 2 day Making It Happen and the 5-day group process Move into Your Greatness programs, developed by The McGrane Center for Personal Transformation in 1976, has several features, which render it a valuable booster to victims and offenders. These include: emphasis on the common humanity of leaders and members together; affirmation of the self as a spiritual entity worthy of unconditional acceptance by oneself as well as others; pro-social values of mutual support and openness, within a commitment to release judgment and other acts of emotional aggressiveness. Members are led through a structured process, which enables them to begin to drop self-defeating defenses and to accept face-to-face inter-personal connectedness with others. In short, they bond. The process has been refined through the years of implementation by the Institute and Center through the adding of new cutting-edge information as it is discovered, and creates an environment of psychological safety unmatched by conventional transitory group experiences. By bringing clients together for this initial and initiating experience, we expect to provide a positive, face-to-face membership group, which will be supported and carried forward indefinitely, as a standing resource for each person. The groups are formed to endure as membership groups, rather than drop-in groups or support groups with shifting membership and attendance. Each group is to be assisted and monitored by support staff as it grows and matures, offering, perhaps for the first time, grounds for persons to identify and bond with another in a positive way. As such, the on-going group membership becomes the glue, which helps members hold their recoveries together. On going intervention We recognize that the membership group described above does not meet all needs or serve all goals. There will be individuals in need of mental health counseling or individual psychotherapy, marriage and family counseling, and anger management training, among others. It is our intention to provide on-going support, evaluation and consultation, staff development and training to interested parties, and in addition, direct intervention, as needed. Initial steps To fully appreciate the McGrane experience we propose that you invite at least one professional and a person in need to attend the 5-day program. Following this step, and with their approval, we propose to select a group of re-entry candidates and provide to them the same intensive program. For the initial Pilot Group, selection will be based on measures of risk assessment, character pathology, and mental disorders, using instruments and criteria generally accepted in the forensic setting. Program goals and objectives We propose to carry out on-going program evaluation as the partnership goes forward to determine whether the following goals are met:
Future Goals
Next steps We suggest you send professionals and those in need to experience the programs so the benefits are know creating comfort for referrals. Additional discussions can be arranged to design other needs you and your organization may have. When you are ready to refer people to the programs please contact Bill McGrane 859-384-6333.
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